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‘Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.’

This is the thought of even a three-year-old whenever she has lost something belonging to her. It is quite natural for any individual to be worried when they lose something which they may need urgently… and this need depends on the age we are dealing with. For an adult it may be an important file, a pen or a favorite shirt and for a child the object may range from a toy car to the school notebook.
According to the self-proclaimed Findologist Michael Solomon, author of ‘How to find Lost Objects’…. “Don’t get frantic and keep searching around. There are no missing objects, only unsystematic searches and clutter.” Solomon says if everything is in its place, nothing will be lost.

When your young child faces such a situation you believe that a good parent’s job is to look for the thing and find it for the child so as to make her calm and comfortable. Yet this should not be the principle of good parenting. Whenever your child loses something grab this as an opportunity to help your child be both responsible and accountable or let her move a step further being irresponsible and careless. Here is an easy step wise approach that can help your child and you to work together and help build up a responsible attitude and develop critical thinking also.

  • Retrace their day with them. 
  • Ask them, where they last saw the lost item? Also, when was that?
  • Ask, Was there anyone else with them at that time? This will give a good start to the search.
  • Make sure to include your child on the searching process along with you.
  • The questioning here is the most important strategy to trigger thinking in the child, so DO NOT skip it.

The easiest way to solve the problem of lost things is to go out and replace them with new ones. Unfortunately, this is the worst thing a parent can do as by doing so your child will not be able to learn from her mistakes and will most likely repeat them for the rest of her life.

Some practices that can be followed by parents to make your child more responsible—

  • Repetitions helps —fix a regular routine of packing same things, at the same time and in similar fashion.
  • Make sure that your child and NOT YOU place her stuff back at its place after use.
  • Prepare a picture checklist for your ward’s things where she can put check marks for stuff placed back at its place and feel motivated when done.
  • Finally help your child understand that ‘IF YOU MESS UP, FESS UP’.

About the Author

Mrs Inderpreet Dave is a pioneer in the field of Education from the last 35 years. She is a certified Parenting coach with keen interest in child psychology and mindful parenting. She has conducted numerous workshops on fostering positivity in kids and teaching effective communication skills. Her resilience and tolerance allow her to form quick and effective bond with parents and children. Follow her for blogs on effective parenting on